nine things I learned watching the world cup in toronto

1. There's way more Angolans in Toronto than I was led to believe.
2. And way less French.
3. Half of Little Portugal is Brazilian masquerading as Portuguese.
4. The Koreans can party way harder than the Germans.
5. But not as hard as the Ghanaians.
6. Riot police are only required in certain neighbourhoods (where the Third World countries hang out).
7. Toronto is lacking a certain je-ne-sais-quoi. Literally.
8. It is possible to drive by Toronto police with three men on the hood of your car, while you're smoking weed, and running a red light. You just have to be surrounded by Africans.
9. There's no such thing as cultural integration in Toronto - it's all bullshit. Now I know exactly which neighbourhoods are inhabited by which cultures, and exactly where the boundaries of those neighbourhoods lie.

I'm also beset by an irritation toward CBC Toronto's coverage of the World Cup, which was very much along the lines of, "Aren't we special? We have many many cultures celebrating! Look at how ethnically diverse we are.", by a bunch of white folk who could never understand what football means to Canadians of different backgrounds, and who have totally missed the point.

The celebrations held by each nationality after their team had won showed a much stronger allegiance to their homelands than their adopted lands, and the message that came across to me by the collective revellers was, "My body and mind belong to Canada, but my heart belongs back home."

I'm willing to bet that somewhere out there, Toronto law enforcement officials are breathing a collective sigh of relief: there'll be no more large gatherings of minorities partying hard (Beware! Ethnic people celebrating!). The riot police can pack away their gear, less cops will be on the streets, and no emergency measures for impromptu block parties will be taken. Not until the Toronto Caribbean Carnival (Caribana), at least.